Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Did you see that girl I got with last night?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

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(727): View more from Florida

she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex

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(707): View more from California

Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(044): View more from

fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face

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(815): View more from Illinois

My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.

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