im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
