I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
