I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
