In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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