How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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