Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you never un-have a 4some
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
