They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
