Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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