it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
