sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
