I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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