3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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