just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
