id be glad to
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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