at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
