I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
