real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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