The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
