so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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