I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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