8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
