awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
