so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
