Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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