so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
