the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
