I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
