just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
