ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
