I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
