You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
