Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
