I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
