id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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