He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
