i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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