i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
