god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
