Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
