Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
farters have to be the big spoon...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
