Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
