just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
