What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
