Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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