he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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