when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
