we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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