just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
