just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
