Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
