I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
