is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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