Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
