It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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